Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
