I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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