PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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