Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
