so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
