We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize