Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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