you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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