Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
