Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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