watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
