So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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