I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize