He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
