new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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