I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
