I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
