I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
