Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
