NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
