I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
