at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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