Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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