Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize