You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
