you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
