She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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