I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
