i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
