therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
