my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
