she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You took a bar mat shot.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
