somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
