just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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