I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
