Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
