Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
