just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
