Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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