Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
