If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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