suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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