He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
