scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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