She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
