I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
