He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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