another moral hangover. fuck.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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