Christians are straight up FREAKS
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
