just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
