Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
