I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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