Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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