There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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