You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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