Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
