I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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