It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
