After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
