I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
