Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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