I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
