I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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