Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
