then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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