My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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