Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
