At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
