She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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