some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
His hands were made for my vagina.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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