I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
