This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
