Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
