No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
