We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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