If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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