You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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